Homeschooling and parenting puts all the pressure on a person. Maybe this is why my blood pressure keeps shooting up. LOL
In my heart of hearts, I know that the steps that I have taken to teach my children is the right thing for our family. God reminds me of this when I start to doubt myself and my decision. Sometimes, He places a person into the equation or maybe He has me stumble onto a new homeschool blog or social group.
My children are already growing. Academically and emotionally I see new growth. There is a smile upon their face and a skip in their step. This warms my heart.
It does prove to be very trying on me and our family. Time is spent educating that could be spent cleaning or working (job). These are the small things in the big picture. Our family is in a good place right now. Our health is good, our home is a safe haven, and we have wonderful friends to encourage our decision to homeschool our children.
Days are sometimes filled with me wondering what I could be leaving out that could hinder their future. Then I am reminded by wonderful people that the kids will learn what they need because as a mother that puts them first, I will make sure that if I can't provide them what they need, I will find a place they can get it. They do have classes outside of the home. They venture into the world that is full of so many things to learn. They do not sit in a four room class and read about it. They are living it and finding out for themselves all that life has to offer.
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| This was a day that we went to to the Infantry Museum with my Grandfather who is a WWII veteran . It was a wonderful history lesson that I learned from as well. |
Of course, once I get beyond the teacher stress, it rolls back to the stress of motherhood. Every word, every action that I make can determine my children's life direction. I must be kind but firm. I must be positive yet show errors in order for the children to learn from them. Nurture and not hinder. What is too much? What is too little? Where to begin? Where to end? To comfort but not to coddle.
Each day I wake up asking what I need to do to help my children grow. Each night I ask myself if I did enough. I am sure that this cycle will continue for a very long time. I am OK with that. When I decided to have children, I made that commitment to them. I know they were not pets. These little beings will depend on me for many years if not forever.
At 39 I still look for my mother for guidance and support. My father is also a source that I go to for his knowledge and approval. As parents we never stop caring. We never stop loving. Happiness is always what we are wishing for children. So I will guide them, lead them by example. I will make mistakes. I will make lots of mistakes. All I can do is give it my best, love them and show them what a wonderful and trying gift that life is.
