OOOO HUGS OOOO

HUGS are such a wonderful way to show a person how you feel about them.  They come in all shapes and sizes.  They can make you feel all warm and fuzzy...

Some hugs are polite and to the point.  They reach around you but don't quite pull you into them.  They gently pat you on the back.  This is a nice hug.

Bear hugs are those that squeeze you in and almost take your breath away with the love.

Sweet hugs are the type that you are pulled in and gently hugged leaving you wanting more.

The lift hug is where you are the one hugging you lifts you off your heels with the pure force of the hug as they arch their back and pull you with them.

The long hug is comforting and saying "I do love you and don't want this to end."  Usually you get this hug as you leave someone that you don't get to see too often and they mean the world to you.

The SINGLE hugs is actually helpful.  Sometimes you need to just give your self a hug.  It can help.  Do it right now.  Squeeze!

Then there is the perfect hugger.  Yes it is true.  Some people just give a perfect hug.  I have met a few people that are talented at this art.  You feel the sincere affection from this hugger.  They pull you in fulling wrapping their arms completely around you, snuggling up to your neck and lingering just long enough to let you know who happy this hug makes them feel.  When they pull away, they are slow and look you in the eyes to tell you thank you for loving the me that I am too....  It almost takes your breathe away.  This is my favorite hug.  This is the hug that can wash my worries aside for awhile.  A smile is on my face and I skip on feeling all fuzzy wuzzy inside.

Tell me about your favorite hugger....

Sand, Water and Pelicans

Blessed is in the eye of the beholder....

We drove around in our rental golf car, a whopping $16 a day.  It was great fun for us to see all the homes, trailers, campers and such.  Most of the campers we saw were gorgeous with all the bells and whistles.  There were also old campers that they built a house over it.  Very cool to see how original it all was.  Then there were some superb homes; many of which had a beautiful view of the ocean.  As we toddled around the resort that we have our hybrid camper at, we were able to appreciate the things that others have but not be pouty that it wasn't us with the home that had an elevator, tiki bar and expanded look over the ocean.  Yes, it would be nice to have those things but our time together as a family is much more important to us than working so hard that we can't make it down here to enjoy.

A friend of mind who is very blessed has a beautiful beach home at one of my favorite places.  The problem though is that her family is hardly ever there to enjoy it.  She and her husband work so hard and for so many hours that they are unable to get away to visit their lovely sea home.

So as I sit here in this small camper of ours, I am thankful.  It is quaint but exactly what our family needs.  There is plenty of room and all the necessary amenities plus a few extra.  Some mornings are a bit cold in her and even damp.  However, some days it is just perfect.  Some days we may desire to go to the mountains and other to the ocean.  Fortunately we can load up the LUCKY OPOSSUM and head out on an adventure.

It is simple.  It is who you take with you that makes your adventures turn into memories.  With our children, our critters and one sweet little camper, my husband and I will seize the day for all that it has to offer.  Tomorrow may not come and today is what is most important.

  

Fairy Tales Do Come True...

Fairy tales are something that dangles in our thoughts from the time we are tots.  We are taught about the prince saving the princess and living happily ever after.  There are other fairy tales that consists of parents and their children such as Hansel and Gretel.  Also, some fairy tales are about stuffed animals that are so loved, lost, forgotten and then only to find home again.  Then there are fairy tales in real life of friends that loose touch for many years but find each other just when God knows it is time for them to reconnect once again.

Her birthday and I am right behind her..

As little girls, we were so close.  We just adored one another.  Our friendship was instant and easy.  As for myself, I was rather protective of her and was afraid to share her some times.  I knew just how special she was.  

Like most fairy tales, hard times came and these two little girls were separated by the evil parents.  Just kidding, they were not evil parents.  The girls would no longer live in the same city or the same state.  Over 1300 miles were placed between them.  

  

My birthday and she is right behind me.

Remember boys and girls that this was many, many years ago before emails, internet and social websites.  Matter of fact there wasn't even cell phones that they could use.  However, there was this thing called letters.  You WRITE a note on paper (usually something pretty).  Place it in an envelope.  Lick a stamp and mail it in that box that is on a post in your front yard on its merry way.  Instead of instantly receiving this letter, it would take a week or so to get.  For many years, these two girls kept in touch this way.  They shared stories of their teenage years; boys they liked, friends they had made, dances they went to, and so on.  They even stayed in touch through some of college.  

Oops, they both moved at the same time and lost touch....  So sad.  For me, my heart always ached to have that very dear friend back in my life.  I wondered where she was.  Was she married?  Was she healthy?  What job did she have?  Was she happy?

Life went on and I have been blessed with some WONDERFUL friends.  I love them all very much but there was just a void with her in my life.  You know.  It was like having 9 of my ten toes.  I was okay but always missed that one toe.  Silly, aren't I?

So, many, many, many years past.  After two husbands, no three and two children, I still looked for her.  Once the internet was useful, I searched and I searched and I searched to find nothing...  All these important events in my life were happening but she was not here for me to share with her.

Then one day my prayers and dreams came true.  She found me!  Thank you internet and thank you social networks.  Can you believe that she was looking for me all this time too?

Today we are the best of friends - truly BFFs forever...  With each visit, email, instant message we are learning a little more about each other.  Amazingly we are so much alike though our lives have been very different.  One thing that we both know is that we have one another.  We are there for one another to share happy news.  Comfort during struggles.  Cheer one another when encouragement is needed.  Oh, and just be plain old silly with.  We watch our little toddlers grow together. We love our husbands.  We live our separate lives in separate states.  Yet, we can't wait for each visit that we get with one another.

So those old days of writing Best Friends Forever may have seemed silly to our parents at the time but now they see that we were rather sure of it.  Sometimes, fairy tales have happening endings.  I hope that this fairy tale never ends.  

Best Friends Forever

AFOs are training Chase and I!

Day five of Chase's AFOs tell us that this was the right decision for us.  After much deliberation and praying, we decided to get Chase braces for his legs a few months ago.  Knowing that the cost would be too much and that he needed to find an Orthopedic doctor with CMT experience, we seeked the help of Shriner's Hospital.  A month ago they fitted him for braces.  This past Monday we picked them up. 

Day five of Chase's AFOs tell us that this was the right decision for us.  After much deliberation and praying, we decided to get Chase braces for his legs a few months ago.  Knowing that the cost would be too much and that he needed to find an Orthopedic doctor with CMT experience, we seaked out the help of Shriner's Hospital.  A month ago they fitted him for braces.  This past Monday we picked them up. 

At first I was unsure how well he would be able to walk since his ankles would be stationary.  When he tried to walk previously, her walked on the sides of his feet anyway and didn't use his ankles   So, this was only an improvement for him.

He took to the braces very well.   I haven't had to beg him to put them on and he hasn't asked to take them off.  They seem to rather comfortable for him.

You can see the look of FREEDOM in his eyes as he is walking around.  He is getting more and more courageous with where and when he walks.  Let me be the first to tell you that now I remember why you never let a toddler out of a shopping cart until you are done shopping.  I had forgotten that.


Tim and I couldn't be more proud and happy with his progress this week.  The AFOs were just the ticket that he needed to help him progress.

His sweetheart Hope is coming this weekend to help celebrate his second birthday.  I am sure that she will teach him many things while she is here.  I may have to invest in one of those harnesses with a cute monkey on it. LOL

Shriner's Hospital

The Shriner's Hospital proved to an enlightening day for our family.  Tim and I came away with things we didn't want to hear, things we were unaware of and also a sense of security in knowing that Chase will have the help he will need within their walls.

Entering the hospital, we were at ease.  This was a place that I knew in my heart had our child's interest in mind.  It wasn't about the mighty buck.  Knowing that what my insurance didn't cover, the hospital would pick up was comforting.  I was then able to focus my energy on Chase and not how much it was going to cost our family.

The staff did their best to speed us through.  We arrived at 10:00am and left at 3:00pm.  Not exactly fast but they did their best.  Occasionally they would drop Chase gold fish crackers, or crayons and even some apple juice.  So, though the waiting here and there was long, we never felt forgotten.

Xrays confirmed that Chase hips look like they are not developing well.  Until he is walking properly, we will not know for sure.  The xrays also showed that Chase has high arches that are not good.  This is a common problem with CMT patients.  The way he walks on the sides of his feet are due to this.

We had previously been told that whatever Tim had, that Chase would share the same burdens.  This is not true.  Each CMT case is unique from one another.  Example of this is that Tim has severe dropped (flat and weak) feet.  Chase has high arches instead.  Chase will be seeing a geneticist as soon as they can get him in.  The expected time frame is 6 - 9 months though.  This will be a long wait.  Once those results do come back, we will have a clearer view of things.

The two ortho doctors we saw were enlightening.  They made sure we understood all that was happening and why.  They said that we can not predict what the future will hold for him.  His case will be his own unique challenge.  One doctor felt that the AFOs might benefit him and felt since we were there to go ahead and get them.  The ortho surgeon who will do his surgeries (my heart sank at the thought of him having surgeries) in the future felt that Chase needed to find his own gate without the AFOs.  He felt that even if he didn't walk until he was five, that it was best that he find his own gate.  This doctor also said to tell all those folks that keep telling you he needs to walk, to back off.  He will in his own time...  Of course, I know Chase wants to walk now.  He tried to keep up with his little girlfriend last week but couldn't.

Chase was fitted for AFOs.  It is a type of brace to keep his feet more flat and give him better stability.  He was so brave and patient while they cast his legs for them.  It helped that the man, Alex was very personable and able to keep Chase's attention.  Of course, he said that most almost two years are throwing fits complete with snot and tears being flunged.   Kudos for Chase's behavior.  He will go back in a month to pick them up; just in time for his birthday.

The day was long and filled with things I didn't want to digest not was I aware of before going.  However, I am reminiscing on the day and the memories of the other children there.  Included in those children were a boy with no left arm, a 7 week baby in two full legs casts, a boy in a wheel chair that had MS and was missing part of his right arm, a boy with a helmet on his head that had what looked like a phone tower on top of his head and he was also in a wheel chair.  So, I refuse to have pity for our situation.  God will provide his love and his blessings and with that we will be victorious.

One last note, if you see a Shriner collecting coins at an intersection, empty all those coins at least and donate.  I had done it for years because my grandfather was active in the Shriner's and also a driver for those that needed the hospital's service.  It never occurred to me all the good that came from those coins and sometimes dollars that I dropped in the bucket.

Example of AFO

Fuzzy Wuzzy - My Hennessy Hammock

This weekend I experienced a whole new way of camping - Hammock Camping.  I can honestly say that I am full on in love.  


Being forty now and a wee bit overweight and out of shape, I thought that this may be something that I would not be able to do.  Boy was I wrong.  It went very well from the ease to set it up by myself to the ease of taking it back down. It was so easy to climb into and out of.  I can also use it as a set easily.

The first night, I unzipped it and slid into my sleeping bag and zip the hammock back up.  There I laid with my headlamp on while hanging from the inside line that has a very handy small cargo pocket.  My tennis shoes were in the bag that holds the hammock while not in use dangling at the opposite end of the hammock from my head.  Keeping them inside keeps them dry and critter free.


I do recommend that you keep shoes that can quickly be put on for those middle of the night potty breaks.  Within the first hour, I did have to go potty but after that I was so comfy that I slept till morning.


The next night I returned to my sweet hammock.  It was bug free inside, dry and calling to me to sleep.  The other campers with me stayed in cabins and fought spiders and other creatures all night.  You ask what I had to deal with?  GREAT SLEEP.  I slept so well that I didn't even dream.  I always dream every night at home.  My dreams are usually all night long and very intense.  Can I say this again?  I didn't dream at all either night.  What a great way to be able to sleep.


The netting is only 12 or so inches from my face but you can see so well outside it is like it isn't even there.  Cool breezes would occasionally come in the hammock.  I did not rock at all except after I first got it in.  Maybe if strong winds came through, I would have rocked some.  This was a good thing for me.


Each morning I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed.  Other than forcing me to leave my wonderful cocoon, I was ready to take on the day.


My 18 month old even laid down with me in it.  Plenty of room to share it with your younger child.


As I waited on the porch of the cabin Sunday morning waiting for my girl scouts to get up, it came to me that this hammock must have a name.  He is worthy of it.  His name immediately came to me - FUZZY WUZZY.  


I can not tell you enough wonderful things about  FUZZY WUZZY .  He is my new love.  Sorry to my husband.... :-)

Go get yours.  Mine came from REI.com so that I have guarantees and such as an REI member (which is free to join).  When I want a different model I can just take this old one in and switch it out.  

 The manufacturer's website is http://hennessyhammock.com/catalog/specs/expedition_asym_zip/

Know When To Hold Them and Know When To Fold Them.

There was a good old Kenny Rogers song called "Know When To Hold Them and Know When To Fold Them."  I always loved this song growing up even though I was not a country music fan until the last ten years of my life.  It could of been my mother's influence.  She would play such songs when my Daddy was traveling and they were at odds with one another.

My question is when to you know.  When do you stand your ground and fight for what you believe in?  Also, when do you step back, fold in and give in to what someone else wants.  Whether you understand what they are saying or not isn't it.  It is the fact that you know that it just isn't right for you.

The worse is when you want to make that person happy.  You may already feel that you don't have the closeness that you want with that person already.  By standing your ground, you may just push that person into another galaxy.  Yes, that is a bit extreme but to you it may just feel that far apart.

When do you stop giving up things that you want to be a part of or believe in?  What will that cost be to you and those that you love?  

Do you make a list?  The Pros verses the Cons.  The benefits verses the issues.  To bend or not.  To give in or fight.  To hold them or fold them.

I want to keep the peace.  I do not care for confrontation.  I try to avoid that route at all cost.  Yes, I am capable of it but in my "golden years" have decided that life is too short to argue my way through life.  "Make love not war" is so much more my preference.  

Type A personality is not me.  I just don't fly that way.  I am a great leader but don't mind handing over the reins to someone  I trust.  However, there are times those people need to let me have them back.  As humans, God did not make us perfect.  We each have our own attributes that we are gifted at and we are unique for them.  I do not excel at everything but appreciate when someone else does.  That is why we are paired with people from our spouses, to friends, to siblings, and so on.  Example would be that I am a pretty good cook.  My husband doesn't mind dishes.  That is a good team.  Another Example, my mother is great at shopping for the kids' clothes, I am have the money to give her.  That is a great team effort.

All this rambling is great but I am still stuck with whether to fold or hold them.  Are my dreams important enough to upset another's aspirations  over?  When and how do I make that choice???

Fiddle. Fiddle. Fiddle.

Funny Forty Quotes

It is coming very fast.  No need to hide.  It will find me anywhere.  Without a doubt, I will wake on April 5, 2012 to be FORTY.  So, let's have some fun!

“At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.”

“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, beverage of choice in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ “WOO HOO, what a ride!” (Robin told me this a long time ago)

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

The purpose of our lives is to be happy. ~The Dalai Lama

LORDY LORDY, yes KELLY IS ALMOST FORTY!

Yes, it is true that I am approaching that monumental birthday of FORTY years on this earth.  Either the AGE hasn't hit me yet or I am okay with this birthday.  I wouldn't want to live it all over again that is for sure.  Maybe I would change a few things.  No, of course I would change a few things.  I would moisturize my skin, study hard in school, be kinder to my friends, continue to date the "nice" guys regardless of their parents, finish college, never loose touch with those that are a part of your heart, learn to climb mountains, stay active, take the leap and move to where a great job was taking me, and spend more time in the moment.

With that being said, everything that I lived through taught me to be whom I am today.

As a child, I was the third, the birth control surprise child, I was always trying to tail behind someone instead of making my own way.  This is okay because I was able to watch, learn and figure out a way to do it without getting in trouble or not do it at all.  As the baby of the family, it is like being the third pair of jeans that you have.  You love them and they are comfortable but the newness tends to wear off.  Fortunately, I didn't feel like this most of the time.  I always had love from one or the other.  I never felt alone.

We moved around a lot growing up from three elementary schools to three high schools.  It was very difficult to find myself when we were often uprooted and relocated.  New friends, new places, and a new me all over again.  I look back now and appreciate that it made me more resilient as a person.  It would keep me on my toes and looking for the new adventure though at the time it would grow old for me and seem lonely.

Life wasn't truly hard for me growing up.  I never went hungry or had to eat by candlelight and had clothes on my back at all times.  I shall not complain.  Why bother when it would only be whining about nothing.  My parents were married and made sure that all three of us had what we wanted or what we liked to some degree.  They were great BAND parents to all three of us.  Not too bad I must say.  Family life had its issues but doesn't everyone's?

I look back on so much and do wander from time to time what might of been if we never left Brentwood, TN or if I was allowed to follow my heart with a special someone or if I had finished college or if I had never moved to Maryland.  What ifs are simply that.  There is not a darn thing that can be done about the past.   We just embrace it and move forward.

What I can do is embrace my present and boy do I!!!  I have three wonderful children that light my life and their Daddy, my husband that lights my world!  I am able to homeschool my children and not shield them but allow them to grow into the individuals that they are.  They are not being forced to fit a mold that there is no way that they would anyhow. Neither could I.  LOL

The past has been challenging to say the least.  I lost two children during pregnancies.  Burying my older children's' father and my husband was horrific.  I can say that that was the worst thing and that EVERY day he is on my mind and in my heart though I have been blessed to move forward.  His love for us was unusual but true blue just as he was.  We are able to take that and makes us better people for it.

True, tragedy has hit my world and from time to time it has been very hard to make it through the day.  However God reminds me on a daily basis that storms come and go.  The wind can be furocious and  knock us down.  Then he reaches his hand out and helps me up and shines the sun on my face.

The sun are things like my friends, my family, my husband Tim and my children.  It is also the little things like a park day with great weather, my hydrangeas blooming, my guinea pigs wanting to be held, the children NOT fighting or an afternoon with my honey Tim running errands together.

In the FORTY years that I have been blessed to be on this crazy earth, I have learned to embrace the small things and appreciate what I do have and learn from the other junk.  I just pray that the next forty I will be able to continue to grow and become a better more rounded person and continue to live life to the fullest, embrace those that have a place in my heart, don't sweat the junk and to enjoy the moment.

Tomorrow is uncertain so I will put my hands up and ride the roller-coaster called life. Come join me!   WEEEEEEE!

Thoughts of the Night

The days are full of Hope.
My breathe is slow and steady.
The sun continues to rise each morning.
I feel peace.
I feel warmth.
My blessing are plenty.
My love is endless.


Life has been challenging.
Life has been rewarding.

Life is what you make of it.

It is true my angel up above.
My roots have grown stronger with the winds.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Your words were wise.
Your heart was loving.
You are at peace now.
I am left with the pain.
You have helped mold me.
You will always be in my heart.

Night Ramblings

The still of the night awakens me. 

My emotions are calm.

The noise is gone.

The house sleeps.

I can be.

I can relax.

I can breathe.

It is soothing to just be me.

No screams, no fighting, no needy wants.

I would not want this all the time.

I need this only some of the time.

Work can be done by the light of the moon.

Batteries are recharging. 

Kids are sleeping.

Husband is snoring.

I am resting wide awake.

The night is my zone.

Good night.

I did a writing assignment for the children and thought I would try my hand at it.  It is what it is.  Just rambling of my thoughts for 30 seconds.

Seasonal Moods

As I lay awake watching endless episodes of Ghost Whisper, something came to me that has nothing to do with this show.  It might just help someone realize that maybe what they are feeling, what they are going through is more than a simple funk.  The winter months can take a toll on people.  It is the lack of sunshine that deprive of us of Vitamin D.  The simple warmth of the sun on out face is able to lift our moods.  Think about it.  How many people plan a vacation to Antarctica?  It is usually somewhere warm and sunny.  Does a smile not creep onto your face just thinking about the wind in your hair, the sun on your face and the sand in your toes?


For some, this season of very  little sun and being stuck inside is very severe to their well-being.  Those with Bi-polar and depression issues like my late husband can find it rather depressing.  He would find himself wanting to sleep a lot.  His emotions were uncontrollable.  He also was very sad.  However, a simple trip to a warm climate and he was all anew.  Also, when spring came and flowers were blooming his hopes would bloom as well.  RIP Mark.  I am sure you are basking in the sun.


Others are effected on a lower level.  They can't understand why they are unhappy.  They may feel sluggish but have no reason to be.  They don't feel like going out of the house and socializing.  Their little light just ins't signing bright.  This can easily happen to any of us.


Children seem to get out of sorts.  They become aggravated with the way they feel.  They just get down right pissy.   It is so sad because they don't know why they are feeling this way and neither do their parents. 


Take a look around at those you love.  Shoot, take a look in the mirror to make sure you aren't feeling this way.  I have seen people that can improve things by going to a tanning salon (all though the surgeon general probably would not recommend this).  


Of course some funks are simple.  They are a funk.  That we can pull ourselves out of eventually.


I did find the following on a sight that reminded of us how important Vitamin D is and ways to get more of it.  Even though I am not feeling the funk at this moment, I plan to increase my Vitamin D just in case it sneaks up on me.  I think I will pass on the cod liver oil though.

1.Spend as much time outdoors as possible to take advantage of what little sun there is, especially if you live in a place such as the southern part of the England which is often grey, but is still fairly mild and has bouts of sun most weeks. If it is a sunny day, eat your lunch outside and go for a walk, even if your face and hands are the only part of you that isn't covered up. It may not be your entire dose of vitamin D, but it is a start and breathing in fresh air will be beneficial on many levels.

2.Don't wear sunscreen. It is amazing how many skin creams, especially the expensive ones, come with sunscreen in them. This of course is due to the misguided view that we should never be out in the sun without sunscreen on. We must maximise the little amount of sunshine that we have access to, which means avoiding sunscreen. Further, creams with sunscreen in them are often highly toxic for our bodies.

3.Sun showers are vertical tanning units which are often available at health clubs and beauty salons. They increase the amount of vitamin D in the body. Of course it is important to remember that this is not about getting a great tan, this is about getting this important vitamin. Three minutes is all that is needed to bring a little piece of summer into your life. People claim that sun showers completely transform their winters.

4.While pasteurizing milk destroys the vitamin D, unpasteurized milk still has this precious vitamin, as well as many other health enhancing nutrients in tact. It is also worth noting that a lot of pasteurized milks claim to be fortified with vitamin D; however it is much more difficult for the body to use fortified nutrients than the real thing.

5.Mackerel, salmon, and egg yolks are the foods with the highest amount of vitamin D, so if you are not a vegetarian, eat more of these foods in the winter. In saying that, make sure that you are getting fish that is from clean waters so that you don't pollute your body with toxins that are found in the sea. Alaskan wild salmon is one of the cleanest fish you can eat because the waters there are still relatively unspoiled. And non organic eggs are packed with chemicals, hormones and antibiotics that you don't want to go near.

6.Vitamin D can be found in cod liver oil. Again, make absolute sure that the brand you are using is of the absolute highest quality. Really research which brand is most pure.

I also found this link http://www.squidoo.com/treatment-for-sad-disorder.

Sinking In

Today the news of Chase's impending diagnoses has finally set in with me.  

I have been keeping my emotions to a minimum over the past few months.  Chase would roll around on the floor and showed no interest in crawling.  I kept telling myself that he is simply laid back and does things in his own time.  To some degree this is true.  He is a very relaxed baby.  He finally started crawling after his first birthday.  Prior to that he would either roll or scoot his bum to reach his desired location.

Here he is over 15 months and is not walking.  The doctors would not be concerned but they know his genetics.  Charcot Marie Tooth is all over his daddy's linage.   http://www.cmtausa.org/

Chase's doctor insisted that we see a pediatric neurologist and got him in in less than a week.  So, I knew that this must be serious.  However, I kept telling myself that everything is OK.  Chase is just taking his time.

For months I would kid about how I was glad that he was in no hurry to crawl or walk because I knew what would follow.  I had two that ran me ragged and was glad to have a laid back baby.

Now, I look back thinking if I had pushed him harder, if I got him help sooner.  I know.  I know that I have no control over genetics but as his mother I still fell the blame.  I ache for him.  I ache for what lies ahead for him.  The challenges he will have to overcome and the pain he will endure are on my mind.

The day Chase was born, I immediately checked to see if he had downs.  You see, while I was carrying him in my womb, I knew that no matter what the tests would show that he was ours and God would give us the little boy that we should have.  So, we didn't do any tests for downs and such because they wouldn't change things for us.  My doctor told me that the test could aid in a faster diagnoses when the baby arrives if something was wrong but that he didn't need to know before then.  I was thrilled to here that.  So, we went through nine months of the waiting game.  If he had downs, I had already prepared myself by reading up on things.  He didn't and we were thrilled to know that.

At Chase's neurology appointment he showed no reflex below his knees.  He felt pain but had no reflex.  I could see the look on the Doctor's face and I wouldn't say that it worried me.  It simply made what I had been sweeping under the rug a reality.

Next we will start with physical therapy.  I hope to learn myself and work with Chase at home.  We will just add that to my list of job duties. lol

My husband will take the electroid testing in order to keep Chase form having to be submitting to the painful tests.  Once Tim has the "level" of CMT that he has we will be able to do a genetic blood test to confirm if Chase has the same thing.  This will take many months to find out.  Until then, I will try to acknowledge this but to not stress over it.  I am my mother's daughter and tend to worry excessively.  The only difference is I internalize to a point that I don't even realize that I am worry.  Silly Kelly.

Thank you for letting me get my thoughts out....  I need this blog...

My Little Shortcake

Grace is growing up.  However there are some moments that help me by showing me that she is still my baby girl.

Tonight at girl scouts I saw a little girl running around playing in heels.  Even though she sported these long legs in her grown up jeans, she was playing dress up with her fellow girl scouts.  It warmed my heart that she still feels confident choosing to be a little girl and playing.

As I look at her face, daily it is changing.  I see her Daddy Mark looking at me.  I see his smile.  I see his eyes, his lips, his cheeks., his skin, his shoulders.  She is no longer a little Minnie me but growing into her own self who happens to favor her Daddy Mark.  She is so much like Mark.

When she opens her mouth, it is Daddy Tim all day long.  She is a funny little girl full of goofy jokes, tickle me silly comments and "I love you"s.  She is so much like Tim. 

So, you see, I get to see two men that I love in one little high heel wearing little girl.  Blessed am I.  Thank you God for this little girl who is growing before my eyes but in your hands.

New Year's thoughts and ponders

Everyone is quick to set these fantastic goals to achieve.  While they are are quite valiant, they are also very audacious.  I do like to take risks and I am a firm believer that you must shoot the ball in the net if you hope to score.  Point I am making is that going for the goal is great but remember there is always a new day to try again.

With that stated.  I gave up setting crazy goals to torture myself over in case I do not accomplish them.  What I choose to do is remind myself of the things I would like or that I need to do.  So here goes a few.  Some are rather simple and rather typical but a few may surprise you.

• Simplify my life - Family is telling me over and over again that I am doing to much, commit to too much, put too much on my plate.  The problem that I have with this is that I see this SUPER heroes in my life that make me look like I am not doing enough and that I am falling short of what I should be doing.
• Ease up on me - See above.  They always say that we are our own worst enemy.  I am sure that all of you reading this can agree.  So, lets have a "amen" and relax.
• Stay on Track - See above.  I could accomplish what needs to be done if I would stay consistent and on track.  
• Get Healthy - How many times have you heard this from all your friends?  For me it is imperative that this happens.  Since the birth of my third child, I have not physically or mentally been myself.  It was a rough pregnancy.  I even missed my 20th reunion due to it.  From hip pain, lower back pain, gestational diabetes and high blood pressure it made for a rough nine months on my body.  My body has yet to get back to normal and I feel like I am 55 instead of 39.
• Marriage - my marriage is great but always has room for improvement.  I plan to do all that I can to make it a more wonderful safe haven for my husband and myself.  He has taken two children that he did not "birth" and love them better than most biological parents love their own children.  Then he helped me bring a baby to our family to complete it.  His number one priority is our family.  As his wife, I want to make sure that he knows how much that means to me, how much I appreciate him.   So, I hope to make time to let my husband know that spending time with him is valuable to me and that I adore him.
• Children.... well I hope to be a more consistent teacher and a good Mommy
• BREATHE - I do have to remind myself to breathe.  It is critical for my blood pressure and my sanity.  LOL
• Grow - No, not in size but my mind, my talents.   I want to learn more this year than I have made myself do over the last few years.  From crochet to algebra.  I think we become stagnant and stop growing over the years.  No, I DO NOT want to return to college.  However, at the end of this year, I hope to tell you of all the wonderful things that I became educated about.  Knowledge is a wonderful thing.

So, at the end of the day when I lay my head down to sleep, I hope that I gave it my best, showed kindness and love to not only others but to myself as well.

Happy New Year!  2012 is going to be a fun ride.  Bring it ON! 

This is my eight month pregnant belly.  It is hard to miss.