You may ask why I have a picture of me and this little tree that shows damage. I pass this tree at least five to six times a week and always look its way. This is the tree that shares some of my personal scars and proves that things may happen in our lives but it doesn't always have to define life; to define us.
We have the power within to endure pass the pain and pass the damage. Though the scar is very painful, it will heal. Over time, we adapt to the pain and eventually are able to use it to grow.
Like the tree, I reached up to feel the sun and let it warm me. Like the tree, I dug my roots deep to hold on to the ground beneath my feet. Like the tree, I did not hide but reach my branches out to feel my surroundings and keep growing.
This tree was once deemed destroyed and was to be replaced in 2002 I believe. I paid the owners of the property that this tree called home the money to cover it's removal and replacement. The owners closed their shop and never did remove the tree. The tree sat that for many years continuing to grow despite the pain that had been thrown upon it by a car that flew through the air at it. You see, my late husband had been driving a car at extreme high speeds and lost control going around a bend and ended his ride that morning at this tree. He did walk away from the accident but only by a miracle. The tree however was left with a very deep scar. This wound was severe and no one thought the tree would make it after such trauma.
After my husband Mark did pass away a few years later, I remember often hearing whispers from those around me of doubt for me or maybe it was just pity. Although their intentions were often from the heart, it did hurt a little. I was 32 with two little children. Was I going to make it? Did I not understand something? Excuse me but I never thought of another option. I had two little ones that needed to see my strength and be sheltered by me much like birds that used this tree for their home. We stand up, we dust our self off and try to move on. Some days are harder than others...
To be honest, there was time no poor me moments. I just did what I had to do and moved on. Sometimes I may have gone in a wee bit of a selfish direction but continued on none the less. This was not the first time I felt pain or trauma and most likely would not be the last.
Sometimes it is very difficult for someone to move forward from pain or trauma. I do understand this. I have been blessed with devoted friends and caring family that have surrounded me through many years. They may not have been able to heal the pain or fix my problems but they are there like the ground that surrounds this tree and have helped my roots to have something to ground me down so that I can heal and grow.
Today may bring one pain or another. This tree reminds me that it will pass or at least ease. Sometimes, I need that reminder. If I can have the sunshine on my face and love in my heart, I can move forward. This makes me happy and that makes me strong enough to do what I need to do in this world.
I will continue to look at this tree and remind myself...
