I have been keeping my emotions to a minimum over the past few months. Chase would roll around on the floor and showed no interest in crawling. I kept telling myself that he is simply laid back and does things in his own time. To some degree this is true. He is a very relaxed baby. He finally started crawling after his first birthday. Prior to that he would either roll or scoot his bum to reach his desired location.
Here he is over 15 months and is not walking. The doctors would not be concerned but they know his genetics. Charcot Marie Tooth is all over his daddy's linage. http://www.cmtausa.org/
Chase's doctor insisted that we see a pediatric neurologist and got him in in less than a week. So, I knew that this must be serious. However, I kept telling myself that everything is OK. Chase is just taking his time.
For months I would kid about how I was glad that he was in no hurry to crawl or walk because I knew what would follow. I had two that ran me ragged and was glad to have a laid back baby.
Now, I look back thinking if I had pushed him harder, if I got him help sooner. I know. I know that I have no control over genetics but as his mother I still fell the blame. I ache for him. I ache for what lies ahead for him. The challenges he will have to overcome and the pain he will endure are on my mind.
The day Chase was born, I immediately checked to see if he had downs. You see, while I was carrying him in my womb, I knew that no matter what the tests would show that he was ours and God would give us the little boy that we should have. So, we didn't do any tests for downs and such because they wouldn't change things for us. My doctor told me that the test could aid in a faster diagnoses when the baby arrives if something was wrong but that he didn't need to know before then. I was thrilled to here that. So, we went through nine months of the waiting game. If he had downs, I had already prepared myself by reading up on things. He didn't and we were thrilled to know that.
At Chase's neurology appointment he showed no reflex below his knees. He felt pain but had no reflex. I could see the look on the Doctor's face and I wouldn't say that it worried me. It simply made what I had been sweeping under the rug a reality.
Next we will start with physical therapy. I hope to learn myself and work with Chase at home. We will just add that to my list of job duties. lol
My husband will take the electroid testing in order to keep Chase form having to be submitting to the painful tests. Once Tim has the "level" of CMT that he has we will be able to do a genetic blood test to confirm if Chase has the same thing. This will take many months to find out. Until then, I will try to acknowledge this but to not stress over it. I am my mother's daughter and tend to worry excessively. The only difference is I internalize to a point that I don't even realize that I am worry. Silly Kelly.
Thank you for letting me get my thoughts out.... I need this blog...
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