Blessings verses Aggravations and Worries.

Today is more of venting/ chatting about the ends and outs of a confession of mine.  I have been wanting to sit down to write for some time but been busy busy.

Life has been challenging for me lately.  It has not been bad or sad, just VERY challenging.  I feel that I am suffering but unsure of why I feel so.  My blood pressure has been out of control for a some time now so they have placed me on medication (a mild medication) to try and lower it.  There are days that I feel like I am going to POP.  The kids are dragging their feet to do their chores or homework, my husband is unhappy with his job and the people he work with, my baby is biting while nursing, I am too chunky, my hip is killing me, my children talk back to me, it scares me that the children are learning enough, I can't find me time and my sweet dog is on death's door.  All this adds up and my head wants to pop.  Then I feel bad for feeling this way because of the following blessings that I have....

• Made it to age 39 (still three and a half moths until the big 40).
• I have three healthy children.  
• My husband is the most wonderful man to me and loves me almost as much as I love him (wink).
• I get to stay home with my children and "protect" them from a crummy school system and raunchie acting children
• I have a roof over my head that keeps our family safe.
• My mother and father are both alive and near by.
• The friends in my life are GOOD people.  They are a super support group for me and I truly adore each one of them.  They all have a purpose for me as I hope I do for them.  I trust them.
• My health is over all pretty ok.
• We have good transportation, aka van that thanks to my hubby stays clean and running
• The family I have is wonderful.  They are always there to love and be there to support us emotionally and with baby sitting (smiles).
• Did I mention that on top of my "birth" family that I have Tim's family that is just as much mine as his.  I simply adore them and how they love my children and me.  They are like the cherry on a a sundae, sweet as can be.
• Feel loved by many many people.
• Able to sit here typing this watching my daughter play with my youngest as my husband makes his homemade chili in the kitchen just feet from me.
• Financially ok. Just enough for what we need not necessarily what we want but all that we need and then some.

So, I ask you, why?  Why do I allow things to make me frustrated.  I need to BREATHE.  Why do I take them so darn personal?

I am trying to remember what is important.  The fact that I feel so blessed is wonderful but it is the weight of all the other stuff weighs very heavy on my five foot two inch frame.

This moment I am appreciating the ability to sit here and type while having my family near by and behaving.  In ten minutes, it may all change so I will appreciate it for the time being.  Ooops and there it went.  Just that fast..

BREATHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but would like to fly away.